By Sandra Dodd
-=-it’s usually just the 4 of us. My kids don't seem unhappy and play with each
other, building tents and "houses" outside, making up games. -=-
If they're happy then they are!
-=-I can't help feeling like I'm not doing all I can to socialize
them-=-
If you break "socialize" down into all its
elements and look at them separately, it won't seem so much like a monolithic
thing. The bad parts can be discarded, and the good parts can come
in all kinds of different ways.
-=- other parents who's children are taking various classes
and such.-=-
I've taken a lot of classes in my life. Sometimes I
was told "You're not here to socialize." Most of the good
socialization took place before
and after things like girl scouts and 4-H, not during
the meetings.
-=-I feel so weird being worried that they don't have
outside friends when all DH and I would do most of the time at our
previous home would be complain to each other about our kids friends and
our own kids behavior from their friends influence. -=-
School friends are like prison cellmates or co-workers or
platoon buddies. It's often a temporary relationship, not based on choice
and common interests. Occasionally one
will last years, but longterm friendships seem to do
better when the people met in a place they had both chosen to be. As your kids get older they’ll want to be
doing and being outside and with others, so let their desires and requests be
more important to you than your vague fears.
When they let you know they want out more, then help them find outside
people and experiences.
Are there a few kids from the apartments you could
invite over, maybe? Can you go back to that neighborhood to let the
kids play with the other kids sometimes, or arrange trade-off playdates?
When we moved, we stayed in touch with some of the
kid-neighbors for a while. It eased the transition.
-=- I don't know, am I over reacting? or do I really have a
reason to worry?-=-
The fears are natural, but try to look at your kids needs of
the moment instead of looking at it through the lens of "truisms"
like "they need to
socialize." If this moment is good, it's easier
for the next moment to be good. If you have three or four really good
moments in a day, people can go to bed happier, sleep better, and wake up
happy. In as many small ways as you can, create a peaceful and
interesting nest for your children and they'll leave it as happy, interesting
people someday.