By Kelly Lovejoy

Posted to UnschoolingDiscussion@yahoogroups.com

7/15/2005

>>>>How do you get your kids to do things they hate but need, like Algebra or Biology? I have a high school junior who only does Algebra when I make her and only does Biology if you count watching Animal Planet. She never writes a sentence. No journal, no letters, heck she doesn't even IM or e-mail people. She play a computer game or watches cartoon all day every day. My son is following her lead. He's 11 and can't say his times tables up to 5. What am I doing wrong? My children have zero curiosity about anything. I even took all electronic gadgets away from them for two weeks hoping boredom would make them pick up a book or go outside and explore something,
nope, they slept or fought until I couldn't take it anymore.<<<<

Well, I think that my boys KNOW what they need. And because they've not learned any different, they don't even know to hate some things.

Well, Cameron (17 and schooled for nine years) DID, but he's all healed now and enjoys many different things---but that took time and patience.

First of all, we don't divide the world into subjects. Biology IS algebra IS history IS language IS art. It's all related and inter-related. My boys don't "do" algebra or biology, but those things are huge parts of their lives because we see them in every day things. Caring for our dogs and cats and rabbit and rats and bees---not to mention ourSELVES!---IS biology. So's caring for our garden and houseplants and the wild birds that we've really grown to know and love. Cooking and grocery shopping is biology. Our visits to the doctor this summer for strep and a bad reaction to a bee sting qualify as biology too. We stopped to look at the armadillo on the side of the road---armadillos are NOT local! We don't know how he got here! Biology! Cooking a mushroom soufflee tonight for Ben's little Tour de France party is biology. Watching all this rainfall and the jungle it's turned our yard into----and keeping track of hurricanes that were threatening our friends' homes---uh huh---that too!

I really don't know how my boys could avoid biology in their lives. Seriously! And Animal Planet is FULL of biology! Duncan has collected sooo much info from that channel! Things even I didn't know! Don't under-estimate that!

As for algebra: what's that line you use, Sandra? Why do we need to study algebra? Because it's part of our every day world? Well, then we don't need to set up artificial algebra because it's naturally a part of our every day world! If it weren't part of our world, why study it? <bwg> We use algebra every day. It's simply figuring "x"---a variable. I use variables to do almost everything! So do the boys. In almost everything we do there's a variable! How we deal with that variable proves how well we understand it. That's why schools use word problems! Because we use them in real life every day! <g> The formula is EASY after you understand the principle of variables!

I don't think Duncan (9) knows what the times tables are, but he knows what eight sixes are---and thirteen sevens. He can figure it out probably *because* he isn't familiar with the times tables. He's figured his own algorithms. Don't ask me how. I'm still in the dark, depending on my times tables! or my fingers. <bwg>

I don't refer to my children as "students"---they are nine and 17. Haven't you heard? Grades are for meat and eggs, not children! <g>

How much writing do mine do? Very little, I guess. But what they DO write is essential and meaningful. They can both write thank you notes. They can write grocery lists. Cameron writes love letters to Carly and keeps a sporadic journal. Duncan dictates wild, fun stories; he keeps a journal too, but it's become filled more with artwork than words lately. The big difference here is that none of these things are required, expected, or forced. They do these things because they are important to my boys. Their writing has meaning to *them*.

Don't discount cartoons either!!! Duncan's vocabulary is HUGE because of cartoons! First, with Ed, Edd, & Eddie---he learned many words that most six-year-olds don't know! <g> Now, his favorites are: The Simpsons, South Park, Futurama, and Family Guy. Because these are soooooo incredibly current and in-your-face--and rather *adult*, we've had all SORTS of discussions about all KINDS of topics---some which many may not consider appropriate for a nine-year-old. But we talk a LOT, and I answer many, many questions. And I LOVE TiVO!!! It makes discussions of these shows so much easier!

Do you watch TV *with* them??? That makes a difference! Mine have so many questions---and I know what interests them and how certain things make them feel. Cameron is into That 70's Show. Hell, I LIVED That 70's Show! <g> So that has brought up a lot of subjects and the history (ugh!<g>) of my childhood!

The boys often join me and Ben while we're watching the Tour de France. Cool things there to learn! History, geography, geometry, physics, nutrition, statistics, sportmanship,...ALGEBRA! <g> All inter-related in a bike race!

Are YOU fascinating? Are YOU curious? What do YOU do during the day? Maybe they're simply following *your* lead and modeling *your* behavior. I was recently described as a shark---if I stop moving, I'll die! <g> I model that for my boys. Cameron is a bit more busy than Duncan. But he's 17 and has wheels! And four jobs, a girlfriend, and a band. For all of their lives, they've watched me be in "into" a zillion things. I have a friend who is very sedentary: I really don't think she should expect much more from her kids. Mine see "busy" and interested and interesting as normal.

As for taking away their entertainment---that's just mean. I would become angry and resentful if you did that to me. So---after you did that, what did you offer them? To go out for Japanese food for lunch? A trip to the beach with a picnic? To tie-dye shirts and sheets? Did you toss a pork shoulder into the oven and have each of you make up personal BBQ sauces? Did you do to Lowe's and pick out a new color of paint to re-do their rooms? (That's also a sure-fire way to get a room clean! My room is next on our list! <g>)

My guess is that you just left them to do nothing and expected them to produce. Anger. Resentment. Fighting. Yep.

BE interesting! BE interested! BE curious! BE fascinating! BE *with* them! DO *with* them! You don't get another chance! You're going to miss them when they're gone! Have FUN....NOW!!!

Oh---and come to the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference near St Louis October 6-9, 2005 and watch other unschoolers in action. Let them see what they're missing. Let yourSELF see it!

http://liveandlearnconference.org

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